Earth Faces Criticism, Calling Students’ Earth Day Art Projects ‘Just More Trash’

By Jan Miller
BOULDER, CO — Earth has been taking the heat lately — not just from global climate change — but also from irritated parents who claim Earth has been overly critical of their children.
In a recent public appearance, Earth encouraged the students of Conservation Elementary School to reconsider their Earth Day inspired art projects. “The art you’re making,” Earth was quoted as saying, “will eventually end up in a landfill. It’s a nice idea but ultimately it’s just more trash.”
Parents were seen scooping up their children and covering little ears as a tornado of outrage poured out over Earth’s opinion. Phrases like, “How dare you” and “Unbelievable” were heard murmuring through the crowd with one parent in particular taking a firm stand. 
Jill Huffine, parent of fourth grade twins at Conservation Elementary, released an official statement on behalf of herself and 67 other parents stating, “Our children’s contribution to the celebration of our planet is a meaningful tradition in our family and the families of millions of Americans but it also serves as an important symbol of our cultural approach to problem solving.”
Earth shook her head when we reached out for comment. “This is disappointing, but ultimately I get it, “ she told us, “I’m a mother, too.”

Jan Miller (she/her) is a pisces with a reputation for winning bets and ruining weddings.