New Study Finds Correlation Between Growing Up In Poverty And Growing Old In Poverty

Small poor man, pictured right, sits on two coins whilst wearing tiny hat.

BLOOMINGTON, IN — Nearly $1 Billion was spent on a recent study in the United States looking into the problem of poverty across the country. Funded by Jeff Bezos, Donald Trump, and two other anonymous donors, researchers were hoping to prove the popular theory that poverty results from laziness. However, this study provides clear data that poverty is not at the fault of the impoverished and that the middle class is, in fact, shrinking.

The findings indicate that the economic discrepancy between the wealthiest members of the population and the most poor has resulted in imbalanced access to the opportunities that lead to wealth. Harvard researcher, Dr. Cassius Biggs, pointed out, “the rich are getting richer and the rags are getting raggier.” Although there are some famous examples of the American “rags-to-riches story,” it turns out that while 1 in 5 Americans live under the national poverty level, only 1 in 28 million is likely to break out of the poverty cycle.

“The data is still being put together,” said Dr. Biggs, “but so far we have concluded that the best way to escape poverty is to have a well-off couple give birth to you.”

Written by Jan Miller. Jan is a former child, future ghost. Follow on IG/medium Jan Miller (she/her) for the latests scoops.

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